Arula Counselling

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Playing in Therapy

Play is a natural part of us. It lets us be creative and in flow with our whole beings. We begin to play from an early age, being curious about the world through sound, smell, taste, and touch. As we grow up, the ability to play may diminish, depending on our experiences in the world. When we are unable to play, or the ability to play is disrupted, something is holding us back. Something is telling us that we are not safe to express ourselves fully, that it is not safe to be 'ourselves'. 

The importance of play

British child psychiatrist Winnicott has said that, ‘It is in playing and only in playing that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in playing that the individual discovers the self’. It is about getting in touch with the younger part of us that we may have been trying to ignore and suppress for a long time. Showing compassion towards that part of us, giving them attention, showing them that it is safe to be in the world. We can begin to get curious about that part through art, which can act as a safe space to have feelings in.

Free improvisation

One of the foundations of music therapy is free improvisation. It is based on the subconscious principle, where music informs what is happening inside the person. Improvisation helps to connect us to our past experiences, integrate them with the present, and bring up memories or feelings we may not have been aware of. In therapy, we can start to better understand these experiences and work through them verbally and musically.

Principles of free improvisation:

1. Using creativity in therapy

No previous musical skill, such as knowing how to play an instrument or sing, is necessary to benefit from music therapy. What's important is to participate in the musical exchange and express yourself in a way that feels right to you. There is no right or wrong way of doing that. Through playing within the therapist-client relationship, you can start to gain clarity about your internal processes and behaviours since sometimes we cannot put our feelings into words. Some experiences are more somatic and challenging to describe. Hence, through non-verbal and free expression, you can start to make meaning of your felt senses. 

2. Authentic expression

As sometimes it is easier to hide behind words, you can start to let yourself free from these defences through free improvisation. The way you play and use instruments may give us a glimpse of what might be going on for you, connecting your body and mind. It takes time to feel and be comfortable in our bodies and learn how to express ourselves in a new way. It may be connected to our self-esteem, anxiety, fear of being seen, or fear of making mistakes. By slowly working through these feelings in a safe space, you begin to make room for yourself.

3. Expressing yourself in a non-verbal way

Humans are preverbal. We all have rhythm and sound before we have words. Therefore, expressing yourself musically can connect you to your early life experiences when you didn't know any better. We can now start to make sense of that and show ourselves compassion. Expressing emotions, thoughts and feelings in words can sometimes be difficult. Through improvisation, we have an opportunity to give them space. This provides another layer of expression and helps us better understand our emotions and work through them.

Working with a client through play

In client work, improvisation can be used anywhere in the session, depending on the client's needs. The intense feelings that are difficult to express in words can be expressed through music. In working with a client of mine, I offered to choose an instrument that described their feelings in the moment. They chose a small harp and started to play delicate and fragmented sounds on the instrument. After listening for a little while, I started playing the guitar with some soft chords. The sounds melted into each other, creating a safer environment for the client to express what they felt. Afterwards, we reflected on the music where they were able to translate their experience into words. We were able to unpack what was happening in the room and make sense of it. As a result, they felt more at ease and relaxed which wouldn’t have happened by only using words.

Connecting with your inner child through play

We are all surrounded and connected to play. It gives us information about how we interact with other people, play with the world, and express ourselves. It is important to show self-compassion towards us when this doesn't come naturally to us. Connecting with your inner child may be difficult at first but where can we begin? Here are some questions you may ask yourself:

  • What does play mean to you?

  • Do you allow yourself to play?

  • Do you feel stuck or unable to play at times?

  • Do you feel self-conscious whilst playing?

  • What are the blocks, if any, that are holding you back from expressing yourself fully?

Doing that in a safe space and in a relationship with the other supports having shame around it. We can start to interact and connect to ourselves in a way that we may have forgotten or never experienced before. This way of working with play can fluctuate between verbal and musical expression. However, improvisation is not a substitute for the verbal expression but rather an indirect medium of expression where difficult material can be explored and an interpersonal relationship can be strengthened. 

Get in touch with me

I offer online and in-person counselling in Berlin. If you would like to participate in therapy with me, please contact me here or email me at arulacounselling@proton.me to arrange a consultation call. The first call is to get to know each other, explore the possibilities of music therapy and assess your suitability for treatment. After that, if you would like to continue with therapy, a consent form will be filled in, and a start time will be agreed upon. I look forward to hearing from you.

References

Eno, B. (2022). Apple Music podcast with Zane Lowe.

Rogers, P. (1992). Issues in working with sexually abused clients in music therapy. Journal of British Music Therapy, 6(2), 5-15.

Winnicott, D. W. (1970) Playing and Reality. London: Routledge.