You may be thinking, what is psychodynamic music therapy and what does it have to do with your relationships? 

Perhaps you’re struggling with building meaningful connections with others, and yourself. You may be going through a breakup, have challenging relationships with your loved ones or struggling to make and keep friends. In psychodynamic music therapy, relationships are at the core of the therapeutic work. 

When you think about it, music is already an innate part of our development. It is a part of being human from the moment of being in our mother’s womb, the close heartbeat that offers comfort and safety. From these early emotional bonds that are formed in early childhood, the relational patterns will continue to affect your relationships in later life in friendships and intimate connections.

And so in music therapy, these attachment patterns can start to be worked through in verbal and non-verbal expression, modelling early connections through language, body language, and music. It is about being present with another human being from where the therapeutic relationship and trust can start to be formed. 

In this article, we’ll explore further how psychodynamic music therapy can support your relationships, diving deeper about the importance of attachment and attunement, the music in the therapy space, and how you can benefit from it. I’ll also illustrate the work with a short case study to give more of an overview of the process of psychodynamic music therapy. 

Psychodynamic music therapy is a form of psychotherapy that relies on psychoanalytic and psychodynamic principles. The focus of the work is on exploring your past experiences to understand your current behaviours and patterns by bringing conscious and unconscious thoughts and feelings to your awareness. 

The emphasis then is on supporting your emotions and feelings in a safe space through verbal and non-verbal expression. It is about exploring your inner world where the central part of the work is the relationship between your therapist. 

Musical experiences can be used in the process, creating a third element in the space to achieve your goals for therapy such as supporting your relationships, learning self-compassion and emotion regulation. Let’s dive deeper into some of these complex ideas below. 

As with any therapeutic encounter, the core of psychodynamic music therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. This will take some time to build, and it is important not to rush the process of creating this intimate bond. Be patient with yourself, share your thoughts and feelings with your therapist and the work will unfold from there. This delicate process will gradually deepen the therapeutic relationship. t It is about forming a secure bond between you and your therapist where you feel seen and heard, and where the healing starts to happen. Through this work, you may start to feel safe enough to create more fulfilling relationships outside of the therapy space too, leading to meaningful connections, higher self-confidence and mental well-being. But what exactly happens in a therapeutic relationship? 

Transference-countertransference

Transference is a process in psychodynamic music therapy where your unconscious thoughts, feelings and dynamics from your past relationships are projected onto the therapist. In contrast, countertransference is the same process in reverse which helps your therapist to gain a deeper understanding of your experiences.These unconscious feelings can then be worked through with your therapist, giving you a deeper insight into your relational patterns and interpersonal dynamics, fostering greater self-awareness and emotional growth. 

Attachment 

Attachment theory focuses on the emotional bond between humans, starting from our very earliest connections to our caregivers. The attachment theorist John Bowlby has stated that attachment is pre-verbal, developing during the first 6 months of our lives. In therapy, this can be worked through with your therapist, forming a solid bond to break through unhealthy habits of relating. Because attachment is pre-verbal, this is especially delicate. 

Attunement

Attunement is a concept developed by psychoanalyst Daniel Stern in 1985. It is the relational way of recognising and responding to another person’s internal experience which is deeply connected to an emotional attachment, mentioned above. It is a non-verbal process of being with another person by which we learn to form close relationships. Through the vulnerability and delicacy of music, in psychodynamic music therapy, music can be used as a safer way to start noticing how we relate to another human being. 

Arula Counselling integrates creative, psychodynamic, mindfulness and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) approaches with a focus on neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed care. 

By using music playing in the session, we can re-create an attachment bond in music by attuning to the sound of the voice, call-and-response, body language, and movement. Attunement is the primary vehicle for parents to communicate love and safety to small children. The supportive caregiver, be it in childhood or in later relationships is the basis of being seen in the world, taking up space, engaging in relationships, to feel safe. However, in one way or the other, there will be disruptions of attunement in our lives which can be supported and/or repaired to close relationships with loved ones, strong support networks, mentors or therapists. Either way, healing needs people.

Case study

I was working with Marie (name changed) in psychodynamic music therapy, a 28 year-old woman working in the music industry. She sought out psychodynamic music therapy sessions due to her relational difficulties despite having found success in her professional life. She tended to keep people at a safe enough distance from her, avoiding emotional intimacy. 

In our initial sessions, the focus was on creating a safe space and a trusting relationship where Marie could start to explore the patterns of relating. Through the shared music playing, music listening and open ended conversations, it became clear that the difficulties came from the lack of early attachment needs which left her feeling disconnected from her peers, afraid of commitment and forming secure bonds. Marie had learned to rely solely on herself due to lack of emotional expression in the family and a subsequent divorce.

As the therapy progressed, Marie was able to open up about her intense need for longing connection but not being able to ask for her needs to be met as this wasn’t modelled to her in her childhood. The music served as a medium to process these early attachment wounds in a non-verbal way. Gradually, her self-expression grew louder and more confident in the music as well as in our conversations.

Through guided use of music and open conversations, I was able to create a safe enough space for Marie to start opening up about her emotional guardedness. She was able to start bringing more of the songs that she adored to the therapy space, experimenting with new ways of relating, self-expression and vulnerability. Over time, Marie started to share her courageousness of vulnerability outside of the therapy sessions, the growing ability to trust others and opening herself up to the possibility of fulfilling relationships. 

By the end of our work together, Marie shared a renewed sense of hope and deeper understanding of her attachment patterns. The psychodynamic music therapy process had given her a space to create trust in herself and others, developing more adaptive ways of relating to herself and others outside of the therapy space too. It allowed her to reconnect with her passion for music, using it as a powerful tool for self-expression and personal growth. 

Music creates connection where words fail. Through music and reflection, we can start to explore your inner processes, thereby increasing self-awareness and awareness of others. In psychodynamic music therapy, no previous musical skill or knowledge is required to participate in sessions. Creating music is therefore based on self-expression where the therapist supports the process with you. This creates vulnerability and connection, allowing us to communicate without words. This has unique therapeutic potential for working through dysfunctional relationship difficulties originating from early childhood where the focus is on non-verbal communication. 

What does your favourite piece of music say about your attachment style?

Research shows that the types of music we listen to can give us an insight about our attachment styles. This applies to songs that speak about relationships. Think about your favourite song, or a song that you’ve been currently listening to:

• What is the meaning of the song? 

• What do the lyrics say? 

• Does the message relate to your current inner experiences?

• What is the subjective experience of the song? 

• What could this say about your attachment style? 

Psychodynamic music therapy can support people with a range of mental health difficulties such as:

• Relationships

• Depression

• Stress

• Self-esteem 

• Anxiety

• Trauma

• LGBTQ+

• ADHD and autism

Some of the goals for psychodynamic music therapy may be:

• Raise your self-confidence;

• Support self-expression;

• Support developing meaningful relationships.

Your therapist is there with you to offer you a safe space from where you can start to explore your emotions and feelings together. Additionally, music acts as a bridge between the conscious and unconscious self, giving meaning and expression to your experiences, thoughts and feelings. Since, not everything needs to be or can be expressed in words. 

Psychodynamic music therapy is a powerful therapeutic modality that focuses on your internal experiences to gain deeper understanding of your experiences and relationships. 

This process can be challenging and uncomfortable at times as it encourages you to dive deeper into your emotions, thoughts and patterns. At one point, you may even feel like quitting, but something in you is not willing to give up just yet. By committing to the process, showing up for yourself session after session and allowing you to engage with it, you may find that it becomes easier to navigate the uncomfortable moments. The outcome can be so rewarding, witnessing your own healing, strength and growth throughout the process. Let yourself experience that pain that leads you towards a more integrated self, improved self-confidence and more meaningful interpersonal connections. 

It is important to note that psychodynamic music therapy sessions are conducted by a trained music therapist who has a deep understanding of both music and psychological principles. Therefore, please consider this when looking for a therapist. Read more about how to start therapy and what to talk about therapy. 

I am an English-speaking counsellor and a qualified music therapist in Berlin. I am available for in-person sessions in Mitte, Berlin. I also offer online sessions on request. 

For any questions or enquiries contact me on the link below, or email me at arulacounselling@proton.me. I look forward to connecting with you. 

Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and does not substitute a therapeutic relationship with a mental health professional. If you are in a mental health crisis, please call 112 or your country's crisis line, where professional mental health workers can help you. Here are some additional resources.

References

Alaei, R., Rule, N. O., & MacDonald, G. (2021). Individuals' favorite songs' lyrics reflect their attachment style. Journal of Research in Personality, 93, 104110. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2021.104110 

Kim, J. (2016). Psychodynamic music therapy. Voices: A World Forum for Music Therapy, 16(2). https://doi.org/10.15845/voices.v16i2.2312

McCarthy, G., & Maughan, B. (2010). Negative childhood experiences and adult love relationships: The role of internal working models of attachment. Attachment & Human Development, 12(5), 445–461. https://doi-1org-14cssccv7011b.erf.sbb.spk-berlin.de/10.1080/14616734.2010.501968 

Petrowski, K., Berth, H., Beiling, P., Renner, V., & Probst, T. (2021). Patient's and the Therapist's Attachment Representations, Attachment to Therapists, and Self-Esteem-Change Through Psychotherapy. Frontiers in Psychology, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.711296